Written by: Niki Lau
I read this interesting piece in the New York Times, about how dating now has evolved into a series of casual encounters. More “hanging out” than “dating”. This is funny to me because, well, dating IS quite casual. There really isn’t any commitment in asking one person out to coffee. But now we’re too afraid of even what that means, and would rather hang out with someone, last minute, unplanned, than ask them to go out on a one-on-one setting where, you know, you’d be required to know the character, likes and dislikes of a single person. The point that interested me most in this article was that “hanging out” in this way doesn’t transition well at all into adulthood.
Often women may say, “Well, he’s good for Right Now,” while they’re waiting for the right man to show up. And I have definitely experienced this temptation. The thing is, being a serial dater for the sake of not being alone hurts much more than simply waiting to be courted. I’ve heard girlfriends tell stories of wasted time and bad relationships that “in the moment” sounded good, eased loneliness, but really, all they’ve learned is what they already knew.
What’s hopeful and surprising in this article, though, is that there are still women who demand more. For Cheryl Yeoh,”The old traditions are alive simply because she refuses to put up with anything less.” I think it is our responsibility to demand more. And for me, demanding more means trusting God, that there IS more. It is intertwined in this faith, hope and trust that we can accept the pain and suffering of the unknown, and wait on His timing. We can refuse to be in a temporary relationship and wait for a good and permanent relationship.
My Faith, my God, saved me from many mistakes I’ve seen girlfriends make, giving into this temptation of easing loneliness. Because I know, even in the darkest of days, God is Love, and He loves Me.
“Let your Hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble, and never stop praying.” Romans 12:12
Recommended titles from Catholic Chapter House
How to find your soulsmate without losing your soul by Jason and Crystalina Evert
If you really loved me by Jason EvertCatholic Living, Faith, For Men, For Women, by Catholic Chapter House.